C.J.: The Ryder Cup team is declining our invitation to come to the White House.

LEO: You’re kidding.

C.J.: Because of the joke.

BARTLET: You’re kidding.

C.J.: I’m not.
[Mrs. Landingham comes in and gives Bartlet his schedule.]

BARTLET: The Ryder Cup team?

C.J.: It’s a group of the best golfers in the country…

BARTLET: I know what the Ryder Cup team is. Thanks Mrs. Landingham.

C.J.: Sir, this may be a good time to talk about your sense of humor.

BARTLET [looks at his schedule]: I’ve got an intelligence briefing, a security briefing, and a 90-minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. You sure this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor?

C.J.: No.

BARTLET: Me neither.

LEO: What else?

C.J.: It’s just that it’s not the first time it’s happened.

BARTLET: I know.

TOBY: She’s talking about Texas, sir.

BARTLET: I know.

C.J.: U.S.A. Today asks you why you don’t spend more time campaigning in Texas and you say it’s ’cause you don’t look good in funny hats.

SAM: It was ‘big hats.’

C.J.: What difference does it make?

BARTLET: It makes a difference.

C.J.: The point is we got whomped in Texas.

JOSH: We got whomped in Texas twice.

C.J.: We got whomped in the primary, and we got whomped in November.

BARTLET: I think I was there.

C.J.: And it was avoidable, sir.

BARTLET: C.J., on your tombstone, it’s gonna read, ‘Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.’

C.J.: Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.

BARTLET: Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know ‘post hoc, ergo propter hoc?’
Josh?

JOSH: Uh, uh, post, after, after hoc, ergo, therefore, after hoc, therefore,
something else hoc.

BARTLET: Thank you. Next?

JOSH: Uh, if I’d gotten more credit on the 443…

BARTLET: Leo?

LEO: After it, therefore because of it. [Josh, a little weirded out, looks]

BARTLET: After it, therefore because of it. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other, but it’s not always true. In fact, it’s hardly ever true. We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know when we lost Texas?

C.J.: When you learned to speak Latin?

BARTLET: Go figure.