Father,
I’m pretty scared right now. I don’t know what’s going on in my heart and why I’m not trusting you. I think I’m doing the right thing. I know that I haven’t been this excited about what I do on a day to day basis in a long time. But does that mean I’m doing what you want me to do? Am I afraid of letting Heidi down and losing this house? Do I fear the people around me and what they’ll think if things go downhill? You’ve given me so much, yet I’m concerned about others. Have I been too proud to take a menial job? What will it take for me to really trust that when we need money, you’ll give it to us. Is it going to come down to the last minute and you’re going to come through? I don’t know if I can take that kind of testing. I need you to help me. I really need you to help me.
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