As you will see throughout this, there are many places that are full of shame. This is one of those pages.

I have no excuse. I thought I could write poetry.

Now that my sin is exposed to the light, I will let you read what it is. You’ll notice I included a scan of the page directly out of my journal where I drew some fancy lines and tried to act like E. E. Cummings.

Web of Lies
Adam

I say i’ll do it… He knows i won’t… try til i’m bleeding… ripped at the chest… His face has grace… mine has dirt… deceit… decapitate… cleanse my broken ring… promises tumble to the
g
r
o
u
n
d
p r e m
o s i s

You’ll also notice I was listening to a lot of Ninety Pound Wuss at the time.

I was in a stage in my life that I felt like I was being honest with God and He didn’t care about me. At least that is how I know I was now. At the time I just felt like God was not answering my prayers “because… I don’t know, I guess he’s busy.” Of course neither of these are true. What is true is that God was answering me, I was just being impatient.

His answer was in the form of a question, which was, “If you want me to change you, why don’t you start changing?” Meaning, I needed to get my head out of my ass and stop being self centered regarding everything.

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