dearest josh,

i know that the summer lends itself to many opportunities to spend out of doors. i also know that it is a good time to build a relationship with members of the opposite sex. seeing as how neither of us have someone like that, nor will we in the next few weeks, this summer is to be spent loathing anybody in what even closely resembles a relationship. we will make fun of friends with boyfriends or girlfriends (or baldness). we will also spend time planning out how to get a girlfriend. why is it going to be this way? because it’s summer, and that’s all you need to know for now. hiking, fishing, swimming, and camping. we will earn all our merit badges in the months to follow.

adam.

(please note, any of the information in the above paragraph can be taken back at any given time during the said summer)

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