last week was an emotion week for me. i don’t know why. i was watching a beatles special and i cried when john got shot (which was almost 20 yeas ago). but i went through all sorts of emotions in the latter part of the week. i think i was just exhausted. but now i’m ok, i guess. i am still exhausted. and even though i’m supposed to be alright with being alone. i wouldn’t mind having a girl to talk to. listen to. write about. hold. say dumb cheesy things to. you know. a. . . uh, how you say. . . girlfriend. but at the same time i’m glad i don’t have one. because like i’ve said many times over, i don’t want another flippant relationship that will inevitably end. sure, everyone wants that. but my last girlfriend and i were serious at one point. i don’t know what all was said, but we had a future. we thought. i don’t want to have any doubts, or as little as can be. i want a girl who i know, trust, have a great friendship with. only one or two of those, and i don’t think that they look at me the same. in fact i know they don’t. so i whine. i will retreat into television or jack kerouac or some form of sad pappy music.

adam.

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